At the End of it All
by narrizan
Summary: Cho Hakkai and his musings about having nowhere to go.Happy Birthday Hakkai


Challenge # 8: for the ffnetauthors.proboards. This one was extremely tough for me and I'm not sure I pulled it off quite right! Even so…here you go! This is a non slash one shot.

Disclaimer: "Gensomaden Saiyuki, Saiyuki: Reload, Saiyuki: Gaiden" and all of its characters were created by Kazuya Minekura. They belong to her and were used without prior permission. No monetary profit is made through this story.

And at the End of it All! _By Zan_

"Keep off your thoughts from things that are past and done;

For thinking of the past wakes regret and pain.

Keep off your thoughts from thinking what will happen;

To think of the future fills one with dismay."

- _Bai Juyi_ (from _Resignation_)

And so here I am. After all these years I can see the path leading up to the house being taken over by weeds and detritus litter it liberally. Arriving just as the clouds are moving away and sunshine slowly takes precedent. I can smell that 'after-the-rain' scent. It is heavy in the air. Paradoxically however, the freshening breeze disperses the humidity and everything is new and clean. And even I can pretend I am clean and new…

Well for a while anyway, and I did say pretend. At that, I can feel a wry smile creep over my face. Even knowing how I come to be standing here, now; and acknowledging the Fates – the smile is real. The sad thing is no one is here to see this slip in façade!

The drips and drops from the leaves in the trees, together in tune and time with the voices of the creatures leaving their shelter from the previous downpour to bask in the drying warmth; sound to me a kind of soft forest water symphony. The sunbeams play at shadows with the shrubbery and dances and dapples all in a moving pattern like laundry hanging on a line and fluttering in the blustery air. Drinking it all in, I let the moment of peace wash over me.

I reach up above me, right hand clasping the back of my left, and I stretch. "Aah!" I exhale gradually and feel my stiff back relax a little into the pull of my arms. Driving more or less permanently for seven years can do that I suppose. Thinking of driving, I wonder where the little white dragonet is. Hmm, perhaps he is stretching too. And having his little moment.

Shaking my head a little, to clear it? It is possible. My thoughts seem rambling and going nowhere. A little unlike me some may say. Rambling; that is what the exterior of the house looks like. Then it strikes me. About my thoughts going nowhere that is. This time the bemusement is spontaneous.

"I don't have anywhere to go!"

Now _that_ is a thought that pleases me no end. Maybe I will miss chasing the sunset. No, I do not think so somehow. _Not_ for a while at least.

The weeds, the overgrowing bramble; in general the greenery is unruly. There are even a few branches lying in front of the doorway. Wind being the most likely of culprits. Leaving twigs here and there on its haphazard way over all and sundry. Well, a prediction says that I will be mowing the lawn, weeding the garden and trimming the hedge, very soon. Again something strikes a chord in me. That the most I will have to worry about is squashing a centipede right in its tracks. A shiver goes down my spine. This dark thought is threatening to drive my cheery outlook away.

"I hate centipedes."

"Stop it right there." I tell myself sternly. "Don't go there." Oh! I am good at this. Sometimes I scare even myself.

"Ahahaha!" How dare I break my appreciative train of thought?

With that out of the way, I survey my surroundings again. Appraising it, I think that the house itself does not look to be in too much of a state of disrepair. I am sure my erstwhile crimson companion and I are not above or beyond fixing and setting the place up. I run through a checklist in my head.

"Kitchen, shower, living (?) room, bedroom. Hmm, yes new mattresses for the futon and the bed…"

I cannot help doing this. Some habits are just not for the breaking – it seems.

I look up into the sky, at the sun just past its zenith. It is cloudless, and the recent rain just a light summer shower. I do not think it will rain tonight.

"Thank the heavens." I actually say aloud.

But still, having here a house in front of me with its roof still intact no less; I will make sure that I do not spend the night under the constellations. Even in spite of my penchant for stargazing and waxing lyrical to myself and no one in particular. Just me and my thoughts in soliloquy. In some instances I know this to be a dangerous pastime. Momentarily panicking for some reason unbeknownst to me, I send out feelers of sensory energy. But it is alright. I breathe out a sigh of relief. I can detect nothing with evil intent. Yes, perhaps the wariness will stay with me always. Just as my loathing for centipedes amongst other things. Nothing I can do about such things. And some things I just cannot let go. Not yet.

So I go back to my deliberations, and I wonder how my former-soon-to-be-again housemate is doing on the inside of said abode. I hope he is checking out what works and what does not, and making a list as well. But I know him, so I will just have to take what he comes up with and we can work on it from there. Speaking of the devil…

The front door bursts open and Gojyo runs out screaming, in abject fear may I add.

"Aargh! There's a giant spider in my pants!" Shattering my moment's reverie. No peace for the wicked I tell myself. No, none at all.

_Owari_

Author's notes:

I think the original priest who went in search of the scriptures took seventeen years to travel in all. Seven is just a number I like.

Word count without excerpt – 889

Word count with excerpt – 932


End file.
